The topic of this article is firstly focused on the victim mentality (which is detrimental). It looks secondly at how to take back your power. The social topic of the day (June 2, 2020 #BlackOutTuesday) is Black Lives Matter, so, thirdly, I will discuss racism and how to get rid of it.
Law of Attraction
This article is going to focus on the law of attraction because that is the topic of this website. If you’ve never heard of the law of attraction or don’t understand it, it is a view of life that basically says what you’re feeling and thinking about will continue to show up in your life. If you’re feeling optimistic about something and expecting it to happen, it will appear in your life in some form. The placebo effect shows that this is the case. If you’re feeling pessimistic and expecting negative things to happen, you will likely get what you’re expecting in some form. This is why when you’re in a bad mood you drop things or trip, and when you’re in a good mood you can move around as if you’re floating on air and hit all the green lights.
The Drama Triangle
Stephen Karpman created the social model which he called the Drama Triangle in an article published in 1968. The reason why he chose the label “Drama Triangle” rather than “Conflict Triangle” is because the people feel or act as if they are either Rescuer, Victim, or Persecutor. Just because someone feels like they are a victim or a hero doesn’t actually make them one.
My Personal Experience
If we take a moment to reflect on our lives we can probably see how we have fit one role or another throughout our lives. While I was studying the triangle out during my Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) course, I decided to devote some videos to the topic. I know I’ve felt like a victim before and I seriously don’t like it. If you would like a better understanding of the drama triangle and how it relates to the Law of Attraction you can watch my playlist.
Victimhood is in your mind
The reason I don’t like feeling like a victim is because I am not a victim. None of us are victims, ever. The CBT course has made this so clear to me. Victimhood is all in your mind. You can choose to feel like one at times, like someone putting on a mask and performing in a role. But you are always free to take off the mask (quit the role) at any time.
“No one is ever a victim, although your conquerors would have you believe in your own victimhood. How else could they conquer you?” Barbara Marciniak, Family of Light: Pleiadian Tales and Lessons in Living
We Have Power
- We always have the power to see things from a higher perspective.
- We always have the power to not let things affect us.
- We always are free to transmute what has happened to us into a better future for ourselves.
Viktor E. Frankl, a holocaust survivor, wrote in Man’s Search for Meaning, “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”
This priest does a great job summing up in 2 minutes why forgiving people is about taking back your power. You always had the power but you give it away to those who persecute you when you hold grudges. You are always free to take it back at any time by forgiving them. Resistance to life keeps everything you have been asking for away from you. I’ll discuss that further below. Not forgiving people (or events) is resistance to life. You’re only hurting yourself by your unforgiveness.
“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of harming another; you end up getting burned.” (Not a Buddha exact quote, but close)
Everything is working out for us
Everything that comes into our lives is working out for our best interests in the long term. Everything that we dislike is a step one moment. The five main steps of creation (according to Abraham) are discussed more fully on the about law of attraction page. But the first three steps are as follows:
- In Step 1 you explore contrast and from that contrast you come to personal preferences. For example, we see mistreatment of others (that is contrast). Our personal preference is to to have everyone treated kindly, so we ask for universal love and peace.
- In Step 2, your spirit (inner being, higher self, god, whatever term you prefer) receives your rockets of desires from Step 1. Then your spirit focuses upon it, and law of attraction responds to THAT powerful point of focus. Now all cooperative components are being attracted to your spirit’s point of focus on your behalf. Vibrationally speaking, you have already received what you asked for. It’s been given.
- In Step 3 you move into the direction of your desire by releasing resistance to it. You do this by ignoring “what is” currently and focusing on being appreciative in the present, optimistic for the future, and finally feeling as if you already have what you desired in the first place. This takes faith which is why it’s the hardest step.
Step 2 Feels Bad Because of Vibrational Dissonance
Abraham (Abraham-Hicks Publications) discusses this idea in the book The Astonishing Power of Emotions.
“Because life has caused you to expand, and because the Law of Attraction is now responding to the vibration of that expanded you, you can now consciously feel your response to that moving Energy. That is precisely what your emotions are.
- If the thoughts you are thinking, in this moment, are in alignment with the vibration of the Broader you, you feel the harmony of that alignment in the form of positive-feeling emotions.
- But if the thoughts you are thinking in this moment are out of alignment with the vibration of the Broader You, you feel the disharmony of that alignment in the form of negative emotions.”
Black Lives Matter & Step 1
Many people who protest, protest because they feel as if some people think black lives don’t actually matter. If the focus is on people who think black lives don’t matter this is a focus on what you do not want. That is a step 1 moment. It’s perfectly natural to see things in the world that you do not like and to want things to be different. The more and more people focus on what they do not want, the more they create (vibrationally) what they do want. There is nothing wrong with that.
Getting What We Want
In order to actually receive the world in which we live in peace and everyone’s lives matter and racism doesn’t exist, we need to release resistance. There’s already been a lot of asking for it. The only thing that holds back that idyllic future is our resistance, the continued focus on what we do not want.
What keeps racism alive?
Unforgiveness is resistance. If you can calmly talk about the past without anger you will see that all races have been treated unfairly at one point in time. It’s what happened in the past. We didn’t like it. We should be moving on because, at our core, we all want everyone to be treated kindly. Only those who still have unforgiveness would even consider hurting another. Hurt people hurt people. If we can forgive, then we can move on.
- History classes: Continued focus on what happened in the past and focusing with anger at what happened, keeps it coming. This doesn’t mean we get rid of history classes, but all cases in all races can be mentioned and they can be discussed without anger or unforgiveness. They could (in the future) even be taught with an appreciation that we all know racism is wrong and we’re glad to have moved on and that it’s all in the past.
- The Media: Television gives angry people a voice. The more the news focuses on what it doesn’t like, the more those things will happen. According to the law of attraction what you look for is what you will see more of. The news programs look for negative things going on and continue to create more of it. Movies get created about events and can stir up emotions also. If everyone turned off the TV and just interacted with their local communities we would not see as many of these issues in our day-to-day lives.
- Parents & Communities: There are many successful black people in this country. It’s very possible for them to succeed in whatever they want to succeed in. Sadly, certain homes and communities have a limiting belief that says black children will have a more difficult time in their lives than white children will. This is why they created the term “White Privilege.” Privilege exists only in the mind. If an black child was brought up in a community and family where they were taught they could be or do anything, they would not have that limiting belief (that they couldn’t) holding them back in life.
- People who don’t forgive. Rallies and protests that continue violence only create more of it. When people are hurt, they feel powerless, and take on that role of the victim. If they do not realize that they have the ability to take back their power with their mind, then they seek other ways to feel powerful. This is what the riots are about, people who feel like victims trying to take back power by force. They hurt their own communities in the process. It’s not very smart, but it’s understandable. People are not taught that they have power to control their minds.
- Racism fighting racism: Saying things like, “Check your privilege,” is resistant in nature. It is pitting one group against another by race, as if everyone weren’t equally powerful. It is racism. As long as you feel you are not on the same level as everyone else you will not be able to see racism as being gone, because you’re continuing it by being racist yourself. The law of attraction means you can change your life through your mind. You are powerful, but so is everyone else.
- Calling yourself a victim: Continuing to label yourself a victim will make sure that you filter your life through those lenses. You will be less likely to see ways in which you are powerful, and more likely to find ways in which you’re dis-empowered. You attract more of how you feel.
“There is another class of coloured people who make a business of keeping the troubles, the wrongs, and the hardships of the Negro race before the public. Having learned that they are able to make a living out of their troubles, they have grown into the settled habit of advertising their wrongs — partly because they want sympathy and partly because it pays. Some of these people do not want the Negro to lose his grievances, because they do not want to lose their jobs.” ― Booker T. Washington
https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/542300-there-is-another-class-of-coloured-people-who-make-a
Stopping Racism
Since everyone has asked for racism to be over with, vibrationally speaking it is. This is why many black people are super successful. There is no such thing as “White Privilege.” People are as privileged as their minds allow them to be. Everyone has the exact same spirit and exact same power to be whatever they want to be in this world.
Fixing Limiting Beliefs
Nothing is holding anyone back except for their limiting beliefs that say they can’t be or do whatever they like. If you disagree with that, I suggest taking a course on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and learning more about it.
- You have the power to control your mind.
- Your mind controls what experiences you have.
- Therefore you have control over what experiences you have.
People who start believing that a world without racism is possible are a lot closer to experiencing it than those who think it’s impossible. If you don’t believe it’s possible, you can’t see it. You perceive what you believe.
The Himba tribe has a lot of words for various shades of green and can distinguish between shades of green better than those who don’t speak that language. What does that mean? The more you can imagine or know of possibilities, then the easier they are to see. When you don’t know of those possibilities, or can’t put a word to it, then you can not easily see them.
Steps to stopping racism
There is a vibrational reality in which we all can love one another without paying any attention to what shade we come in.
- Forgiveness is a required. Unforgiveness is a form of resistance. You will be stuck in step 2 feeling awful if you cannot line up with your spirit and the fact that, vibrationally speaking, racism is already gone. In my experience those who hold onto anger tend to scapegoat onto the “other” race that they are upset with. By trying to fight racism with anger they tend to just become racists themselves.
- Stop regurgitating the past and warning people about it, because continued focus on what you don’t want will bring more of it to you. Focusing on what you do want will bring it close to you. When you focus on what you do want, you will start to notice the unconditional love that you are looking for.
- Stop worrying about what’s going on in other cities, and focus on your own family and communities. Be the change that you want to see in the world. When you are kind to everyone, regardless of race, you will see others pick up that habit (unconditional love vibration) and they will spread it to others.
- Feel the unconditional love of all people, forgiving all, holding no grudges, and imagine the world the way you want it to be. Meditate on this and you will start to attract more of that feeling into your life. If you are still unforgiving you won’t be able to feel this feeling, so remember to forgive.
- Take back your power by releasing limiting beliefs. Understand that you don’t have to play the victim role. Say, “I’m not a victim; I’m a victor.” And embrace that, through the law of attraction, everyone has the exact same amount of power to control their own individual lives. We are truly created equal.
Thank you for this! This is very insightful and it’s exactly how I feel. You nailed it, word for word. It’s been a struggle for me to articulate and put them into words without anyone taking me out of context. I am married to a white guy and our children are half white. We have friends for years before kids who have black children. One family is a Christian family and live just like us—sees the recent situations as good vs evil/everyone vs racism, and the other family is not a Christian family, a very well off family—sees ONLY white officers killing black people…and all black people are innocent no matter what—they see race—closed minded.
You’re welcome. Thank you very much for sharing your story. While I was growing up, through happenstance, I ended up working (on two separate occasions) with black men who were married to white women. The families were really very sweet and I don’t really remember racism from my childhood at all. It just wasn’t really in my life experiences. But I totally understand for others who are taught that there will be racism, they will see it more. That’s just how the law of attraction works. It seems to me that racism seemed to get worse only in the last couple of decades or so, and oddly enough when Barack Obama became president. I noticed that people talking about racism seemed to get a little bit more intense around the time that President Obama took office and it escalated from there. I don’t know why that would be, but maybe people were just looking for trouble more. Now on the other hand, I’ve seen racism against white people more often in the past couple of years. I’ve had that happen to me on Facebook once, but I just blocked the woman because I didn’t want to be associated with a racist.
I came across this article and this is interesting. Thank you for writing this out. I feel you are not fully seeing the picture around white privilege vs racism, though I agree on operating from a non-victim mindset. Most black folks, especially black men, in my opinion, regardless of their personal social standing or how confident they may feel, still would probably find it tough to walk through a white neighborhood without being profiled or cops called on them or questioned if they live there. So part of white privilege is being white makes other white people more comfortable compared to being black, and white folks still hold the most power in society and in the world. Maybe all people of color are acting as victims and spiritually asking for poverty, to be born in poor countries or be in poor circumstances? I do not know. In our current world, you can easily draw a correlation between melanin vs wealth. Being black or brown (African-descent, Indigenous groups, South Asians like Indians, etc), is a sure way of ending up in a world where one is poor or underprivileged or perceived as such, compared to being born White. For example, just being born in a country like India or most African countries, is a sure way of being poor compared to being born in the US, Canada, Western Europe, etc. This leaves a mark on people all over the world on how they perceive others (especially ones with darker skin), even if they have the best intentions. So, if survival is key it is also important to know what the boundaries are and how to keep oneself safe.
Not much different than as per of law of attraction, a woman who gets raped has ‘invited’ the rape, so she still needs to be mindful of neighborhoods and time of day she chooses to hang out in and maybe have a gun or pepper spray if she has faced sexual assault in the past, and not blame her rapist for being a victim. So, there is a certain male privilege where the average male is larger and stronger and is more likely to have a desire to sexually assault women and children. So, we need to take that into account, when women feel like victims or blame men the same way we can think about race. Most of us are going to be influenced by the historical behavior of white communities and male communities towards the less dominant groups (black/POC, women). Nevertheless, it is no reason to have a victim mindset but let’s still understand why we use the term white privilege or male privilege, and it may not be to feel like a victim but to understand what has happened in the past, what is likely to happen and how to take care of ourselves and keep us safe, while still forgiving white people who maybe have been unkind or cruel in the past or even now, or men who have may have been rapists, pedophiles, murderers, etc and live our lives freely, without victimhood but at the same time being aware what dangers exist in the world and how we can keep ourselves safe.
Hope this makes sense?
Thanks for reading, considering and replying. I appreciate your thoughts. I would say that you have no idea what goes on in other people’s minds. There are plenty of paranoid white people, for instance. Paranoia has nothing to do with skin color. It was actually just this week that I had a dream (nightmare really) where I woke up with paranoia about cops and getting arrested. Though I am generally not paranoid in waking life after years of changing my thoughts. I believe that was based off a meditation I had done the day before where I was asking to be “triggered” so that I could heal.
So, I don’t believe that this paranoia has to do with skin color, although I will say watching mainstream media (MSM) people are getting the wrong idea about cops and the MSM news are promoting a negative limiting belief that many cops are racist. That doesn’t mean that people of color would have to agree with those limiting beliefs though. They can actually do their own research and find out the true statistics to feel better.
I don’t believe in white privilege, I think that’s just something racists made up. I mean the whole premise is that based on your skin color you’ve got privilege, so by definition it’s a racist belief.
Thankfully the law of attraction means that by your thoughts you create your experiences so this is the great equalizer, and also it’s how I know God’s not a racist. God (whatever you want to call it) made sure there was true justice in this world because everyone (regardless of skin color) is free to change their thoughts and change their reality.
I would disagree with white people being in power, at least in the US. Have you seen all the corporations, news, schools and government people and how they’ve been acting the last few years? It’s clear that there are many racists (against white people) in power these days.
You make the mistake to suggest “all people of color” are “spiritually asking for poverty” There are a lot of wealthy people of color. But they tend to take personal responsibility for their successes and failures, rather than blaming others for why they can’t succeed in life.
You said, “you can easily draw a correlation between melanin vs wealth.” I’m sure you realize, since you used this word, that correlation does not equal causation. I would suggest that we could say there’s a causation between poor families and their children also being poor. There are a lot of poor white people who grow up to be poor, too, because of the limiting beliefs about wealth that are found in poor families.
Being born in another country where most people are poor, you would not realize the difference in wealth the way you think. Where you live, you are accustomed to what you have and what you don’t have. Because of this, we think people in another country are “worse off” than us because they don’t have all that we have. But people who don’t have a lot of “things” are not longing for “things” in the same way as we do. I’ve seen happier children in Tanzania than I’ve seen in wealthy families. It’s often the wealthy people who can’t find true happiness. Wealth is not equal to happiness. People miswant wealth a lot.
I don’t agree with male privilege either. I think it’s just a bunch of scapegoating, and I honestly find it condescending as a woman. Feminists have willfully become slaves to what men do or don’t do.
Woman can always choose where to live. Where I live, for example, the men are kind and offer to plow for me and protect me. I understand it’s different in cities (I did live in cities) and it’s a choice every woman has to make for herself. But it is a choice, and to simply blame men, when she could have moved to a safer location (and worked on easing her thoughts about men) is just scapegoating and enslaving herself to men.
I agree that we shouldn’t have a victim mindset, obviously. But I still think of “privilege” as a scapegoat. It’s a way to put off our responsibility onto someone else, and it’s making ourselves a willful slave of whatever or whomever we perceive to be stronger/better than us at doing something. It all comes down to us taking personal responsibility to free ourselves. But that means not shifting the blame onto others, which a lot of people don’t want to do. It’s easy to blame failures on other people, men or white people, but it takes work to take responsibility for your thoughts and actions.
Also, check out my article Taking Personal Responsibility Empowers & Frees You for more information on the willful slavery bit I was talking about. http://asabovebelowloa.com/taking-personal-responsibility-empowers-frees-you/
Thank you for your perspective.
Just two points that came across for me:
1) you have no idea, what goes in a non-white person’s mind either, so your perception of happiness in Tanzania is just your mere observation and that may not be reflective of all third world countries, or experiences of people who may be socio-economically not as well off. I agree people do not know what they do not have, but this is not about a fancy car or a huge house, a big TV, or the first-world country’s consumerist habits. This is about basic needs like healthcare, healthy food, basic housing, running water, electricity, decent education for their kids, jobs/purpose in their daily life to contribute to society, and an overall sense of safety. Those things are basic wealth that is not always available in many 3rd world countries or in first world countries in marginalized communities (ie Black communities would be one, like mass incarceration of Black men, lack of good housing, schooling, redistricting, etc). Secondly, my take on melanin vs wealth is not about victimhood but about perception. It is human nature to draw conclusions based on what we observe in our vicinity, so if brown/black people fall into more of the poor category, then as humans we may tend to associate brown/blackness with poverty, lack of education, lack of intelligence and criminality. This perception may be in the collective conscious and some may act from that place, especially white folks who may be uncomfortable seeing a black man in their neighborhood. So, that is something to be aware of, when maneuvering the world and what assumptions people make of you or could make of you. In my own case, I was born in a 3rd world country to a wealthy family (wealthy by that country’s standards so I had a lot of access and privilege, and got a private English education), the country was a former British colony, I am dark-brown skinned, I am a man who is bi-sexual, and I work in tech in California and have done well in the US, and I am working to also become a psychotherapist. I am also well aware of places where I need to be mindful and be conscious of how I maneuver so I get the best outcome for me. In my discussions with people who are of color, queer, women, etc, there is trauma in how they operate in the world (not necessarily for all but many in my opinion) and what has shown up for them, and it is best to hold that with reverence and not belittle their experience. Same for white folks, even straight white men, there could be places where they may have limitations. I am all for working from a non-victim mindset and working without limitations but I am also for understanding the historical systems in place, and taking a practical, informed, and empathetic approach to non-victimhood as opposed to denying our history, trauma, or what has happened and what systems are in place (ie white/male privilege, colonialism, etc)
2) You also sound like (in your reply to me and to the previous person who commented), that you feel victimized for being white? And keep talking about racism against white people? ie reverse racism? So I ask you, are you trying to play the victim?
1) What I said was based off of an experience with a friend. She wanted to donate to give shoes to children who didn’t have any, and their caregiver said they would rather have the money for something else because they children don’t need shoes. And it’s also based off videos of children who are happy. You can’t fake real smiles. I don’t see those real happy smiles in many rich people. But, I am aware that I’m not always with them. Of course, there are people who can’t afford certain things they need like food. But I also know children in Tanzania manifested a charity that helps the special needs children and the surrounding town. So I know it’s possible for these people to manifest what they need. Also, health care and education can do more damage than help depending on where you’re getting it from.
There’s a great quote for offering help that’s not actually needed.
“Kindly let me help you or you will drown,” said the monkey putting the fish safely up a tree. -Alan Watts
This is why it’s best to focus on what you and your local group need/want and not to focus on what other people are doing or not doing. Everyone has a God-Source spirit guiding them towards their better good.
We should never belittle people’s experiences, it’s what made them who they are. We need to let people feel the raw emotions, and then they can stop fighting them. Finding acceptance of life as it is, and focusing on working on themselves rather than focusing outward (about the system or what other people are doing) can finally bring peace.
We obviously disagree about what systems are in place. I believe the system we’re in is one of law of attraction which means we are free to be whatever we want (from a higher perspective) to be when we focus on working on ourselves.
I don’t agree that this world is systemically evil or unjust. So we’ll have to agree to disagree on that. I understand everyone is meant to have a unique perspective of the world.
2) I mention the racism against white people simply because it’s something I’ve experienced that seemed to be left out of your idea of the world, when you suggested white people are “in power.” It’s clear that that no color is “in power” over any one individual’s life unless that person becomes a willful slave to racism. I don’t think that racism is what keeps people from being who they’re meant to be. It’s people’s beliefs that matter. I don’t care personally that people think less of white people because I understand they have limiting beliefs and they’ve been taught incorrect things. I’m definitely not playing the victim there. I simply block racists online and go about my life where people judge people on character rather than race. I know to take personal responsibility over what I can do. For some reason I was meant to experience it in the past and write about my experiences but it doesn’t hinder me in any way.
I definitely have limiting beliefs but other people’s racism is not one, lol.
Have a good day.