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Why Would a Baby “Attract” Abuse?

I wanted to answer the question that bothers most people skeptical of the law of attraction, and it requires some explanation of a spiritual perspective on life. To an atheist, you are simply conceived and then either lucky or unlucky. You’re lucky to have been conceived in a family, situation, or life in which you have a comforting home life. You’re unlucky if you end up in an abusive and/or neglectful situation.

To suggest that someone attracted abuse based on their behaviors of allowing abusive people to walk over them is not too shocking. I think it can be understood by some atheists.

But, to suggest a baby, not exhibiting these enabling destructive behaviors, of attracting abuse is beyond the pale. The baby knows nothing about these dynamics and doesn’t deserve abuse. As someone who believes in the law of attraction I can say 100% they don’t deserve abuse. The definition of “deserve” is “to be worthy of.” In my opinion, no one is worthy of getting abused. Abuse is 100% wrong.

Starting At The Beginning

Unlike an atheist, I don’t believe we start when we’re conceived. I believe in reincarnation. I also don’t believe we are simply our physical bodies.

The Higher Self

The Paper Example

If you have a stack of paper that is a 3-dimensional object. One piece of paper inside of that stack is a 2-dimensional object. For this example imagine the piece of paper is infinitesimally small so there is essentially no height to it.

One single 2D piece of paper can coexist with its higher self, the 3D paper stack.

People & Their Higher Selves

In the same way, I view us, in the 3D world, as a single slice of our 4D selves. The 4th dimension is time. The beginning of our 4D physical selves can either start when we’re conceived or the beginning of time if you want to trace your DNA back through your family tree. You have aged a few seconds reading this and so you’ve moved up a few slices as time has gone by.

The 5th Dimension

I believe we are currently our 3D selves in this infinitesimally small moment of time while simultaneously we are our 4D selves. Some part of us is still the child we used to be and the one who is about to die. We are the stack of our slices.

If the 4th dimension is outside of time, then the 5th dimension can see from the very beginning of time to the very end of it simultaneously. Just like the stack of papers exists at the same time as the single sheet of paper, I believe there is a 5th-dimensional version of us that exists with us in the 3D. We just can’t always see it. It’s what some people call their higher selves, and what some people call God.

There may be more dimensions, but based on my beliefs I’ve had enough personal proof to make me believe in more than just the physical. I know full well that I can’t prove it to anyone else and I’m not trying. I’m just answering a question for people who want to know my perspective.

We Aren’t Content To Have It Easy

Growing up I used to think about what it would be like to live “forever” in heaven after we die. I thought to myself that that would get boring if everything was just perfect for so long. When we relax there is a time when the body goes into repairing itself, but when we get closer to homeostasis we get antsy. Things come to our mind of things we’d like to do. People need a purpose. We have desires to create and to do things.

As above, so below. I believe what we are like on earth is a slice of what the higher dimensions are like. I don’t think any higher beings are content to just sit still in “heaven” forever not doing anything.

The Sims

I used to play the game The Sims. If you don’t know it, it’s about simulation people. You can create families. You can create a single person and have them live their life, dating, getting married, having children, dying and becoming a ghost watching their grandchildren play. It’s a simulated life. Why did someone create it? Why do people enjoy playing it?

Different people get different things out of playing it. But I like a challenge. The game is open-ended, you decide what you want to do with it, and what your goal in life will be. Someone online created the Legacy Challenge where you start out with very little money and have to create a family to earn points that you have to track yourself. It was very difficult in the beginning when you are just starting out (according to their rules) but once you gain enough money it becomes pretty easy and I lost my will to continue on with it and would start over again.

The reason I bring this up is that I think our higher selves actually choose to “play” us on the lower dimensional levels. If you’d like a movie that is semi-related watch The Thirteenth Floor. And here’s a really old video I created discussing this:

The game characters are called avatars for the exact same reason the word is used in Hinduism. The term avatar refers to “a concept within Hinduism that in Sanskrit literally means ‘descent’. It signifies the material appearance or incarnation of a powerful deity, goddess or spirit on Earth.” (wiki)

I don’t think there are only one or a few gods on earth running around in physical avatars. My perspective is that every single one of us is here because a higher self has incarnated here for a higher purpose.

The Main Question

Now we come to the heart of the matter. If we could choose any physical body to incarnate into why would someone choose a baby who will be abused in some way? Why would someone choose to be in a “disabled” body? I’ve already said I think our higher selves know what will happen in the future because they’re outside of time and can see the end from the beginning. I do believe people know ahead of time that they’re coming in for a difficult life when they are.

If we can grow and mature in the 3D, who is to say we can’t grow and mature in the 5D? I don’t know how many dimensions there could be higher than this. But I believe that some “spirits” or “higher selves” have desires to do something, to have some sort of challenge to overcome, to learn and to grow. I also don’t think the higher selves are afraid or upset about experiencing this life because to them (outside of time) one single lifetime would seem like a short game they played or dream that was dreamt. Their knowing all the ways things could work out and that they would be ok when the life was over would make it not as scary.

Think of a scary movie. Why do people watch scary movies? They do it to be entertained and they know full well that when the movie is over they’re still going to be okay. From my perspective, I think our higher selves might look at this life like an interactive scary movie. I also think other higher selves are all “playing” along and this is something akin to a party of people choosing to play an interactive virtual reality game.

If a game is too easy, we find absolutely no joy in playing it. I’ve play-tested a few where I have said in feedback, “This feels like a monkey could do this so I am not experiencing any enjoyment out of doing well.” A game needs to be challenging in order to feel like you accomplished anything.

A Boring Easy Life

If you had nothing to strive for because you had been born into an easy comfortable life and had everything you ever felt like you needed, you would become bored. Kain Ramsey has said something similar to this – people don’t really want to be happy, they want to feel accomplished. You’d have a lot more enjoyment out of tackling a difficult project, growing and learning in order to be able to do it, and finishing it than you would out of having it handed to you.

Struggles Lead To Desire For Better

Every single thing that goes “wrong” in your life leads you to want something better. If you get abused, you want to not be abused. People who are not abused never have the desire to learn about abusive techniques and how to avoid them in relationships. Handicaps (of any sort: mental, physical, emotional, etc.) lead a person to have strong desires and feel more accomplished while maturing, learning, and growing. They can help other people to learn and grow too.

Higher Selves Have Desires

I also believe that our higher selves have individual desires based on past lives. I can’t claim to know all about how this works, but I do think the reason people attract the life they’re in now is because of what they experienced in their previous life or lives. If you die in a car crash (ending your life earlier than desired) because of a drinking addiction you might have the desire to take on a life where you have problems with addiction that would cause you to desire to overcome it. In this sense, I think we attract lives that will “solve” things from past lives.

What About Babies Who Die?

In the book Many Lives, Many Masters by psychotherapist Dr. Brian Weiss, he describes his work in past life regression. His son Adam died (23 days after birth) of a rare heart condition. During one regression the patient spoke to him about his son saying, “…his death was due to his heart. Your son’s heart was also important, for it was backward, like a chicken’s. He made a great sacrifice for you out of his love. His soul is very advanced…his death satisfied his parents’ debts. Also he wanted to show you that medicine could only go so far, that its scope is very limited.” Dr. Weiss did actually go on to study psychiatry because he realized medicine couldn’t save his son.

I believe the babies who die have come here with a purpose to help people to learn and grow. I know that it may be difficult for some people to understand, especially when they believe the child only had one chance at life. But I do believe in reincarnation, as I wrote earlier, so I don’t think that’s the end of the story for them.


I don’t know individually why each person would choose to come into a life where they will be abused or mistreated, but I do believe they all have their reasons. I don’t believe their higher selves are upset with it because I think they chose to experience it for a reason that is higher than our perspective can see, because the higher self knows how far-reaching the effects of their life will be, many generations down the line.

For example, some higher self might want to be the one to come in and help a large group of people struggling with addiction, they would choose a life where they had to see the negative effects of addiction when they were younger. Perhaps their father was addicted to gambling or drinking. They will grow up with a strong desire to either help him or help themselves and others experiencing any abuse that can come from that. People who struggle as children have a strong desire for something better. When they get healed they feel accomplished way more than someone with an easy life. They also tend to help others. Even if they don’t see the end results in this life, their actions have ripples into other people’s lives. The higher self knows how those ripples will play out.

I didn’t write any of this to convince anyone that I’m right. This has just been an explanation of my perspective (as of the time of writing) to answer the question that always comes up.

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